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I Used To Dance

"I Used To Dance" is the name of the piece I finished yesterday. I'm feeling ambivalent about it. I set up all my art materials on a table outside the back door, too hot inside my studio. At 8:30 a.m. I sat down to work. I had an abstract idea floating around so I did four our five small pieces while working on the larger piece. While this piece or that was drying I would work on another. Since I work in layers it's easy to create several pieces simultaneously.

The smaller pieces that I ended up running with, didn't move me at all. I was not happy with the results.

I enjoyed creating "I Used To Dance" and I appreciate the layers, the colors, the lines. I like everything about it. But, I'm not thrilled about it.

Could be the subject matter. The fact that I don't dance anymore makes me feel empty. I don't dance anymore because I have yet to manage my plantar fascitis. One - three days of dancing and my feet are on fire! No thank you.

Another possibility could be that my heart just isn't in it.

Thursday night, my husband and I set out to create a vision for what we wanted to do with out creative passions. Stephen is a novelist. :)

We'd discussed the idea of sitting down to write things out the previous night. We would be ready to go over it together the following evening.

The next morning, I was all excited to work on my vision. I began with, "Where do you see your art?"

My immediate answer was, "What art?"

Right there, is where the vicious cycle began.

By the time Stephen and I sat down to write things out, I had nothing. He was done in less than 10 minutes.

Let's just say for the sake of identifying myself as something, that I am a mixed media artist.

I create art using a variety of techniques and mediums. Great.

Who is my audience? Where would I like to see my work? Where do I see my work?

The second I start to funnel my art into marketing or developing it into a business, I shut down.

I can devise a long list of where I don't see my art. Which technically, should identify where I DO see my art. But, everywhere an artist CAN imagine their art being seen is on my list of where I don't see my own art.

In the previous post, I spoke about learning the basic skills of design. I began with learning about value. I had a few days of fun playing with values. Just playing around in my journal.

I am on the next module, I purchased an online course. This one is about color, I've watched several videos in the module already but have not been inspired to practice any of the lessons. I'm already bored.

Stephen tried to help me get to a place where I could see myself as an artist by asking me what I imagined life would be like as a successful race car driver? A doctor? A music producer? And a few other professions. I smiled, my energy would go up and I'd rattle off the daydream.

So, I can imagine, playfully with joy in my heart any other profession. Even one's that I have absolutely no interest in what-so-ever.

Art...I see myself as nothing. No where. No interest.

The question is,

Can I work/create through this?

Be Joyful!

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