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Living My Dream

04.16.2021 Yesterday I had my first sale at the Ground Floor Artists' sale event. It was my first time putting any of my pieces out for sale. The first time putting myself out there at all.

I have been at the studio since January, content hiding in my back corner. Just working on my art, improving my skills. Yet, creating in the space like a hobby. Kind of thinking of being a professional artist, selling my art. Someday, when I deem my work(self) worthy or good enough. *Not really wanting to be seen.

Over the past couple of weeks, preparing for the art sale things began to shift. I was working hard everyday creating pieces to stock up my space. I hadn't had ANYTHING at all to sell because everything I'd been working on was still at some phase of drying or firing. I couldn't even begin to get all of those firing clay pieces ready in time. So, I decided to make all the new pieces from air dry clay and acrylics for color.

The sale gave me a goal, which gave me some structure and schedule for each day. I woke up one day excited to get to work and realized I was actually "working"! Working to create art to SELL!

I waited until the week before the sale to officially invite my family and friends. I wanted to leave myself some room to wiggle out of the whole thing. I was still struggling with putting myself out there for failure and criticism.

I began to Reiki my pieces, my work space and pull tarot cards to add focus and blessings.

This allowed me to (mostly) be light and playful with the experience. I'm sure I would have abandoned the whole thing had I not taken the time to work that inner magick.

I had one evening of meltdown, when I finished all of my pieces. I judged myself and my work so harshly I could not stop crying. It was so painful. Obviously, I did stop crying eventually. But, I just picked my heavy heart out of the pit from which I'd thrown it and went on to put my work out to sell.

During the sale, I was so honored and humbled to see how my family and friends who took the time to come out to visit and buy my art. It warms my heart so much every time I think about everyone who came by. I have no words to express my appreciation for their support.

I gained so much from sharing this experience with family and friends as a working artist.

Many, many thanks!!!!!

And yet, the day did not end there. I was invited to a birthday party that evening as well. I was reluctant accept the invitation because I thought I'd be super tired after the sale.

But, I also wanted to go to celebrate this friend's birthday as well as have the opportunity to play an instrument with a group of people. The birthday girl, Kelly, requested that we bring any instruments we may have so that we'd all be able to have a "jam" session.

I knew she had singing bowls, drums, and such. So, I packed up four of my crystals singing bowls to take with me.

I had no idea how to "jam" with a group at all, especially not with singing bowls. But, I really wanted to be a participant rather than an observer.

I knew Kelly to be a "safe" person to be around emotionally so I totally trusted that she would surround herself with likeminded people, especially at her own birthday party.

I was able to easily let my guard down, I was able to fearlessly jump in.

Once the drum beats began and I'd listened for a moment to catch where it was going, I was able to add my "voice" to the song of the group.

I didn't use my actual voice but sang throw the voices of the crystal singing bowls. I really, really can't express myself here in words. But, I will give it a shot just to give you some idea of what I experienced.

It was like sitting inside of my own magickal bubble that would reach out, expand, touch and resonate beautifully with other magickal bubbles. We were outside, in the light of the moon, the wind was blowing. It was uplifting, energizing and an amazing way of connecting through music. I didn't know I had that inside of myself. I was amazed and I SO want more of it in my life.

Playing or practicing at home alone is vastly different from playing, sharing and merging your music with others.

Here and now, I am requesting that the Universe give me bigger, GREATER versions of what I experienced in my art world and my music world yesterday. Whatever happened, whatever that magick was, bigger and more of it!!! Art. Music. Family. Friends. Love. Joy.

Be Joyful !

*I had an enlightening meditation session with Suzanne of The Native Heart. One of the questions she asked me after the meditation was, "Are you afraid of being seen?" I frowned at first. Wondering what she was talking about and where she was going with that line of questioning. But, when I took a moment to sense how that felt in my body, I realized that I WAS afraid to be seen. There was evidence of it in many places in my life.

Thanks for that huge eyeopener, Suzanne!!!

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